EMO- GONE

If I could have anything in this world, I'm not sure that I would ask for money or to have someone back. I'm not sure that I would ask to reverse the past.

Money doesn't buy happiness. Relationships ended for a reason, so bringing back someone that didn't want to be there again would land you in that same position with them over time! And mistakes are made everyday, so, by reversing the past you would not be the same person that you are today. Reversing just one huge life event would change everything in your present!

Nope, I wouldn't ask for any of those things.

I would ask for emotional pepto-bismal!

Yep! Emotional pepto-bismal would grant those like me, those with that effervescent ball of "what the F*ck" in the pit of their stomach, some kind of relief!

Its not that we, the emotionally damaged completely jaded are not capable of functioning in the world!

In fact we function just fine. Just fine..... until the "what the f*uck" sneaks up from behind us and says.. Hey old pal! I'm right where you left me.

Why do I call it a "what the f*UCK" well, when their memory leaves you suddenly swallowed in self pitty and suffocating.. What else can u say, but, "what the F*UCK"

Yes! Emotional Pepto.

I would call it Emo-gone-
"Emo gone, take twice a day until the "what the F*uck" subsides and you can resume normal activities."

My emotional pepto wouldn't keep you from living your life or functioning. In fact it would help you to excel on those days when you hate them the most. When you needed to you could be emotionally numb.

You wouldn't be sitting a round waiting on time to heal you! Emo- gone could do that all by its self.

For all those suffering from "what the F*uck"

Todays blog is for you!

Any questions?

Carefree as a bee....

Carefree as a bee…

They say that those who expect nothing shall never be disappointed. I am wondering how you get to that point. Maybe some people are just born that way. They are completely care free. Sometimes I catch myself googling hopeless self help sites just to investigate the way that other people on the planet think and absorb..

Have you ever typed “how to be carefree” into a search bar?

There are all kinds of pages in relation to this question. My favorite.. ehow.. “how to lead a carefree life”…

They list 7 ways to be carefree….

1.)     Examine the responsibilities and chores that you currently handle each week and decide if there are any that you can leave off the list to free up your schedule for more enjoyable activities.

2.)     Learn to love yourself and forget about what others think of you. All too often we find ourselves obsessing about what others think of us when what really matters is how we value ourselves.

3.)     Live each day with a positive attitude, and be patient and kind with others. Letting go of any negative thoughts you're having and focusing on the positive aspects of your life will help you to be more compassionate with others.

4.)     Spend time relaxing, pampering yourself, enjoying life and doing things that you love to do.

5.)     Laugh more often. Read a funny book, watch a comedy, joke around with your friends and family and let yourself laugh.

6.)     Prioritize your time spent with friends and loved ones, especially your spouse and children.

7.)     Let go of the grudges that you've been holding against those who've wronged you. Those negative feelings will only hinder you in your quest to live a carefree life.

As I read thought these tips. i.e. suggestions on how to be carefree.. I am a bit astonished how easy it all sounds. I thought or maybe I was deeply hoping that being carefree had something to do with traveling a lot and fishing on the weekends, feeling the sun on my face and the sand on my feet. I suppose this isn’t the only route to leading a carefree life, as you truly do have to make time for yourself to even remotely enjoy a “fishing on the weekends venture!” Lol!!!

 I continue to rifle through them over and over again! I am diligently assessing how to really incorporate them into my life.

As much as I plan and plan and smile and think that I have it all figured out…

 I always stop hard at NUMBER 7!

And as I stop hard at number 7… I am breathless..

7)     “Let go of the grudges that you've been holding against those who've wronged you. Those negative feelings will only hinder you in your quest to live a carefree life.

This is the stopping point..and it makes so much sense to me, at least in my mind it makes sense.. in reality this is what this blog is about.. being single to overcome my grudges. Being single to forvgive those that who have wronged me and how I have wronged myself. Being single to find me…. Me…. Me…me….me....

I wish that I could say that’s where I am and that I have made so much progress.. but when I read that sentence.. I realize how very FAR I am from that “carefree”.

So if this is the only thing that’s stopping me and the  past is affecting me in my present, why would I give into it?

Because... I want to make sure...When I step forward this time.. It will never sneak up behind me again!

SO, in saying my peace on this subject of carefree... I am curious... how close are all of you to living a carefree life?

A solace fairytale....

The alarm clock sometimes offers reprieve from a long and sleepless night.  A night where hours drag on for days, where you keep looking at the clock and minutes creep consistently, in this madness there is one thing walking across your mind, the thought of being alone.

I used to write you novels. I would lay my heart on the line. Share my darkest thoughts, my fears. I would sit here and dream about how life would be next to you. I would think about where we would be when we were older. How beautiful the character lines on your face would appear to me. How the feel of your hands, roughened with time, would feel on my mature face.

I played out, in my mind, our entire life. The years would fly by me. Sunset to sunrise, in my heart, I loved you forever. And in my fantasy you were always there.

These thought consumed me for so many years. It truly made me happy, happy to have you even if you were far away, even if our time physically was limited.

I knew not the outcome, nor could I fathom that there would always be so many memories that we never got to make...

When it comes to ultimate happiness, no matter what troubles lie ahead, it’s very easy to be consumed by a fairytale, especially a fairytale that you would expect the outcome to be solace.