Memories remain..

It’s amazing how life changes in an instant. The world shifts from a state on uncertainty that you were trapped in for years to suddenly knowing what you’ve been looking for all your life, what was missing all along! 

Embracing this reality leaves your new found “self” confused at this revelation. Your heart and soul, for once, agree on what should be and on what you deserve. 

 Then you’re swept into a whirlwind of emotions, forgetting to guard your heart, you just let go and you’re kissing his face every ten minutes, holding his hand, feeling the warmth of his body through you as if he is the coal that lights your soul on fire... 

And then change catastrophically conquers just when you though the war was over.  Standing in front of your light; you feel it fade as you’re saying just three simple words "see you soon"!  It’s as if someone has rudely interrupted the most important conversation you’ve ever tried to carry on! They are standing outside the door, pounding like the police who are deciding that because you're not answering, they are forced to break the door down, leaving you exposed, vulnerable and without something to hide your mind, your deepest emotions behind.  When you’re life is invaded by time and space you become so empty inside. 

 It’s such a disturbing parallel. 

Rugged thoughts are constantly challenging you with yet another state of unrest. It’s a daily fight to understand simple words and what they mean to you. It is: “yes, I love you; you are everything” and then it’s:  “This is making me so miserable” all thrown at you at the same time. 

What's the common ground? 

Why do we have situations like such?

A feeling of alone, I need you. I want you, and I know I will see you, so I will push on through this... 

What gives? 

When two are still two and want to be just one, but, time, space and obligations prevent such actions... What gives? 

We are so overwhelmed with our woes that we almost miss seeing another light appear, and when it does we realize: It is through our demise or pain that we see the bright side of the golden rainbow!

Love gives… It gives us patience

A self portrait!

My personality type makes up about 4% of the population.  I can be restless, anxious, moody, and plagued by erratic sleeping patterns. I never complain about my restless mind because I feel lost if my inner waters are too still.  I seek out, unconsciously, experiences that will intensify my passion or inspiration.  When inspired I disappear for hours on end, immersing myself in writing, playing music, graphic designing or even photographing. Creative expression is my lifeblood, my key to self-discovery and self-expression of my inner world. I struggle balancing between work and family at times. Some people think my life is frenetic and chaotic. However, creative work is what keeps me sane! If I could, I wouldn’t live by a calendar or clock, I would have complete freedom from time.  I am edgy when I can’t have uninterrupted time alone. I am very two sided in emotion! I can be witty and chatty if I am inspired and in good spirits, and I can be cold, distant, and sulk without reason!  I tend to struggle spoken words. I avoid drawn out phone conversations, and most of the time I would rather text than talk. I am more in tune with non-verbal communication—facial expressions, body language than most. I often read between the lines looking for discrepancies between what is said and what is physically expressed. This is how I judge if you are trustworthy. I will never let you know that I know that you are lying, but I will distance myself from you without explanation. I lead with my heart not my head. If my heart isn’t on board, if I can’t believe in it, be it love or any other project I will not give it my full attention.  I will change my mind a hundred times and try all of the wrong things before I choose what is right and what is wrong. I am in introvert.. an INFP.